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Finding the perfect match

By Wang Xiaoyu | China Daily | Updated: 2018-10-02 03:50
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Senior citizens scan leaflets at the Temple of Heaven in Beijing's Dongcheng district. [Photo by Liu Hongsheng/For China Daily]

Changing mindsets

Ma Lili, 25, an assistant accountant for a foreign company in Beijing, disagrees on vetting prospective spouses at matchmaking markets in parks.

Ma said the market conveys a feeling of desperation from "the leftover" — a term used to classify those who remain unmarried into their late 20s and beyond.

"Parents endeavor to find an ideal spouse for us, but we have many more choices to meet our future husband or wife instead of a method that feels like putting ourselves up for sale," she said.

She added that matchmaking markets in parks represent the traditional parent-dominated marriage arrangements that are losing grip on young people's mindset.

Instead, a variety of online services have sprung up to turn explicit matchmaking into networking events that aim at expanding social circles and encouraging interaction.

Research shows that 23 percent of unmarried working professionals prefer business networking to find life partners, 20 percent of them rely on matchmaking websites, and another 26 percent turn to matchmaking events and alumni gatherings, according to the report issued by LinkedIn and Zhenai last year.

"On weekdays after I log off from work, or weekends and holidays, I am willing to meet prospects introduced by my friends, colleagues or online matchmakers," Ma said. "It feels more relaxed, more of a casual gathering, rather than an intentional matchmaking attempt," she said.

The mounting pressure during holidays also prompted Jiang Shihui, a 28-year-old white-collar worker in Shaoxing, Zhejiang province, to seek help from an online matchmaker.

"My parents pulled a stern face around 11 pm in the living room and began a serious discussion on my marital status. I was petrified," Jiang sent this message via the instant-messaging app WeChat to Chen Yuting, a local matchmaker, on Oct 3 last year.

Jiang said at that point, he also felt lonely as his friends were away with their girlfriends, leaving him alone at home.

"I reached out to Chen because she is around my age, she knows a lot of local girls and I feel more at ease describing my dream girl to her," he said.

Jiang joined in parties organized by Chen. These events, though titled "matchmaking gatherings", are primarily about harmless chitchats and ice-breaking games that helped lower his guard.

"I don't see myself as a strong competitor in the realm of matchmaking. I feel nervous in most occasions but not at a gathering held by Chen," he said.

Jiang made a couple of new friends and met a woman. He was engaged recently.

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