最怪誕的10本指南書(shū)籍

眾所周知有關(guān)指南、DIY、傻瓜教程還有文學(xué)作品等書(shū)籍，其中很多還是很有用的。隨著審查制度不再那么嚴(yán)格以及言論自由之風(fēng)的吹起，人人都可以出版任何他們想出版的書(shū)籍。不管您將此事看作是好是壞，人們確實(shí)可以接觸到很多奇奇怪怪的書(shū)。

本期就讓我們?yōu)槟P點(diǎn)史上最怪誕的10本指南，雖然您或許會(huì)覺(jué)得它們匪夷所思、、令人忍俊不禁，或嘩眾取寵令人難以接受，但這些書(shū)都是真實(shí)存在，且能在市面上買到的。

10. How to Steal a Dog
《怎樣偷狗》

Stealing dogs has never been so good! If you're a cheapo who is looking to steal away man's best friend, choose this how-to. Maybe you want a free dog, steal one! Though stealing a dog will probably get you put into prison. If you're that lonely and that in need of someone, or something to talk to, just take a dog, the original owner will understand!
偷狗可不是好事！如果你是個(gè)吝嗇鬼，打算偷走人類最好的朋友，請(qǐng)選擇這本指南。也許你想要一只免費(fèi)的狗狗，那就偷一只去吧！雖然偷狗很可能讓你遭受牢獄之災(zāi)。如果你孤獨(dú)地要死，極度需要某人或某物來(lái)談?wù)勑模蔷屯禇l狗吧親！前主人會(huì)理解的！

9. How to Make a Dirty Movie
《怎樣拍黃片》

Oh honey don't worry, I'm just reading about how to make a dirty movie...What?! Wouldn't it be more precise to watch how to make a dirty movie? If you don't know how to make a dirty movie, that might tell you something, or a few things. But let's not go there. I guess some people just aren't romantic or errr...that perverted? Whichever you think fits best.
哦親愛(ài)的別擔(dān)心，我只不過(guò)是在讀拍黃片指南……啥？！它會(huì)不會(huì)精確到要你觀看怎樣拍黃片？如果你不曉得怎樣拍黃片，這本書(shū)會(huì)教你一點(diǎn)兒的，或者不少……不過(guò)我們還是別談得太深入了吧，我想有些人應(yīng)該沒(méi)這么浪漫或者……呃……這么變態(tài)？你怎么想都行。

8. How to be a Pope
《如何當(dāng)好教皇》

I hope that this book was written by an ex-Pope, but it probably wasn't, seeing as how writing about how to be a pope is probably a sin in one way or another. Anyone who is reading about how to be a pope, shouldn't be a pope in the first place. Those who are destined to live in the Vatican generally know what their duties will be as a pope while they are archbishop or something.
我希望這本書(shū)是前教皇寫的，不過(guò)極可能不是。怎樣寫如何當(dāng)好一個(gè)教皇某種程度很可能視為是一種罪行。讀這本書(shū)的人肯定壓根不會(huì)是教皇。而這些注定生活在梵蒂岡的人早在他是主教或其他啥職位的時(shí)候一般就都知道作為教皇的職責(zé)是什么了。

7. How to Break the Cycle of Life and Death
《怎樣打破生死循環(huán)》

Now...maybe I'm not religious enough, or maybe I think too much, something, but who in their right mind believes that they can actually live forever? There isn't a cycle to break. Life has a beginning, and an end. Maybe an afterlife, no one is too sure, but a book about how to be immortal? Interesting, to say the least.
現(xiàn)在……我大概沒(méi)那么虔誠(chéng)，要么我有點(diǎn)想多了。但是一個(gè)頭殼沒(méi)壞掉的人誰(shuí)會(huì)相信自己能永生啊？根本就不存在什么循環(huán)去打破。生命有始，亦有終。也許有來(lái)世，但沒(méi)人能確定。可是一本關(guān)于如何永生不死的書(shū)？至多只能說(shuō)它有趣。

6. How to Raise and Keep a Dragon
《怎樣飼養(yǎng)龍》

I'm sure this would be a great book, if dragons really existed. Maybe they live and exist inside of your imagination, but not in mine. Besides, who'd want to keep an animal that can literally open its mouth and blowtorch you to death? I'd gladly pass on that option. If you ever cross paths with a dragon, find this book.
我很確定這會(huì)成為一本偉大的書(shū)的，如果真的有龍存在的話。它們也許生活在你的想象中，不過(guò)不在我的想象中。再說(shuō)了，誰(shuí)會(huì)想要養(yǎng)一頭一張嘴就能一口火噴死你的動(dòng)物？我反正pass。如果你曾遇見(jiàn)過(guò)龍，去找這本書(shū)吧。